It almost got me! Almost

October 2020 to February 2024

“It will never happen to me.” - Preston

“But it has happened to others.” - Little devil on Preston’s shoulder

“That’s them. I am too passionate about what I do. I’ll never get burnt out.” - Preston

March 2024

“Ladies and gentlemen, we got him!” - Little devil on Preston’s shoulder

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Yea, it happened and it happened quickly. One day I was all in on everything and the next day I was overwhelmed, stressed, and, for the first time, the idea of doing something else with my life crept in. 

For 3+ years I had no issue doing it all. Like everything. Plan and host each of the 200+ cleanups. Handle 200+ post-cleanup cleanups (which, honestly, is more work than actually picking up the litter). Make every single one of the 100+ Adopt the Block supply deliveries. Respond to every email. Create every social media post* and manage engagement. Fundraising, finances, insurance, newsletters, and all the other stuff that I have somehow blocked out of my mind while writing this. I didn’t have a problem doing all that. Did it all with a smile. It felt like my calling.

But that all changed in early spring 2024. The year started off great. Things were rolling. Impact was being made. But my energy and drive was starting to get chipped away.. Maybe it was the one group that emailed me the morning of an event saying they would have 15 volunteers after I asked they bring no more than 12.  Or maybe it was that one corporate cleanup I agreed to when I knew I didn't have the bandwidth to handle it. Or maybe it was that person who, as a means of looking out for us, made that one networking connection that ended up with me in 3 meetings I didn't really want to attend. 

Or, maybe, it was the Earth Day Extravaganza that I spent five months planning and was forced to cancel because it was scheduled on the coldest and rainiest spring day in Raleigh history (don’t fact check that). The event where I made 90% of the vendor connections, thanks Kait, created all of the signage, got sponsors for, scheduled and blah blah blah. Also, for anyone asking, yes, it is being rescheduled. For April 2025!

But, am I allowed to feel this way? Everyone has stuff. My stuff is basically nothing. Some folks are dealing with actual ‘stuff’. Plus, no one is forcing me to do this work so am I allowed to complain? I don’t like hearing others complain so no one wants to hear me groan. I was born smack dab in the middle of ‘suck it up’ and ‘acknowledging mental health’. And I tend to lean more towards suck it up. 

But there is still a glimmer of hope. Something that will get me through and back to loving what I built; our community. I can keep going because I know how much joy Blake and Brad have at the events. Or even with his arm in a sling, Gus still will show up ready to pick up litter. Or that Carolyn is getting in as many cleanups as she can before she becomes a grandmother for the first time. Or maybe, just maybe, there is another Amy and Saurabh out there and they need our events to find each other and everlasting love. 

Maybe I can keep going because I know Dennis needs to work so that he can get a room for the night and not sleep in a shelter. Or Keith is struggling mentally but when he is with us, for those few hours, things are a little clearer. Or for Pedro who may just get affordable housing simply because one day nearly 4 years ago I decided to pick up some litter.**

I am going to figure it out. I’m not giving up yet. I’ll learn to ask for help. I might even hire some help when we finally have the funding. Maybe I coordinate a volunteer cleanup a couple times a month instead of every single week. Maybe we do Adopt the Block supply pickups instead of drop offs. Maybe I will train someone else to lead when I need a break. I think I caught ‘burn out’ before it caught me. With a little help, and maybe a spa day, I will get back to it. - Preston

*Since Ela moved back to PA

**I used fake names but the scenarios are 100% real.

Maybe it could work

No fluff. No beating around the bush. Let’s just keep it 100. There appears to be more people experiencing homelessness than ever before. I did some research (Google) and the 1980s may have been worse, but this is the highest level in at least the last 18 years. But solving homelessness is a mission for someone else. I do trash! One thing I do know is that there are more homeless encampments in Raleigh than ever before. And many are HEAVILY LITTERED. Is homelessness the only reason Raleigh is as littered as it is? HELL NO. Does homelessness contribute greatly to the issue? HELL YES. Both things can be true but what conclusion do you come to in your head? Shut them all down? Let people live? 

I was recently sent a Reddit post about an encampment near Triangle Towne Center that was being shut down. I know that authorities attempt to connect these folks to resources when displacing them, but I don’t know to what extent. The person who wrote the Reddit post was a member of this encampment and wrote that he had nowhere to go, and those being forced out will get more and more desperate. He mentioned that those being displaced may have to turn to unlawful means as a way of survival. 

The person who sent me the Reddit article does similar environmental work as I do. I asked how she felt about the article and how homeless encampments affect the environment. This question is difficult to answer if you have the tiniest bit of empathy. She responded “The same way I feel about a lot of things - conflicted. I understand the issues with why some people wouldn’t want to be in a shelter, as well how hard it is to get into programs that can help get them off the street. But big camps… and the trash and bad conditions they create aren’t good for anyone. I wonder if any cities provide trash collection for encampments like that.” 

Her last question got me thinking, Do cities provide trash collection for encampments? If the encampments weren’t so littered, how would you feel about them? 

If we treated homeless encampments like state campsites, with rules and regulations around cleanliness, would public feelings around them change? Could I just roll up and say ‘hey, clean this sh*t up’, and folks would be able to stay? Would the public outcry be as great? Would our general opinion on homelessness change, if even slightly? Maybe we then bring in portable toilets and hand washing stations. Would the language change from HOMELESS ENCAMPMENT to just, a campsite?

You know about our Wørkforce program, right? What if it expanded to provide ‘trash services’ for areas used by the unhoused. We would need collaboration on rule enforcement, but I’d have no issue picking up and disposing of trash. I actually would very much want to do so if that meant folks could stay. My opinion on encampments is that they are only a problem when the litter, trash and debris starts to get out of hand and leak out into the road. There are so many that we don’t even know exist because they aren’t heavily littered and I personally, take no issue with those. Homelessness is a national issue. I don’t have the resources or knowledge to solve it, but I do have the ability to change this small part of the problem. 

But this is just a thought. My opinion. What are your thoughts? Do encampments bother you? If they were less littered would your opinion on them change or do they still have to go? If you’re a donor, how would you feel about your donations going toward this program? So many questions. Let’s work together to figure out some answers. - Written by Preston. Edited by Sam

A Plain View

Thursday, February 8th was supposed to be another day of awesomeness. I had an excellent Workforce crew that I knew would get after it. If you didn’t know, for the last 3 months, we have been building our newest program, the Workforce. This program hires folks experiencing homelessness to pick up litter around town. The city hooked us up with some seed money and A Place at the Table helps us find employees. It has been a truly rewarding experience for everyone involved. To know these men that participate (it's only been men thus far, not by design) is to understand that there are layers to homelessness. It's not always drug addiction or alcoholism. Sometimes it's a couple bad breaks or maybe 1 regretful decision. 

I vibe with these dudes. They are just dudes. Mostly from the sticks of NC or the NY/NJ area. I listen to their stories and just want to help. Sure, the $72 they earn, and I am fortunate to give them is cool, but I really want to get them back on their feet. 

I listen to the stories about being in a shelter. Worrying if you’ll have your belongings the next morning. Or if someone high and not in their right mind is going to choose you to be the one to fu… bother that night. The infrequency of the shower. The overcrowdedness. The differences between the man’s side and the woman’s side. The want, desire and yearning for just some peace and quiet. 

Then I hear about the nights that they get a hotel room. And the levels to that. Is this a night for a roach infested room with no wi-fi or is this the night I get a clean room, with a couch, and hot water, AND CABLE. I asked them, how often do you get a room, and the answer was “the days we get to work with you”. That one hit me in the feels. 

I’ve been working on growing this program because it is needed in so many ways. For the people, for the environment, for the city.  But money is not easy to come by and a large sum of it is even more difficult. But we won’t give up. 

Back to February 8th. We were off New Bern Ave which if you know you know. I’ve said since day one, this organization could be The Great New Bern Avenue Cleanup and we would ALWAYS have something to do. But off New Bern Ave is Plainview. (exhale) We got an email from a resident requesting help in the area. It's one of the many emails I’ve received asking for help. It's hard to keep up.

But back to the story, I have been cocky lately. Very cocky. If you follow us on social media, you’ve seen our last few cleanups. How is a man to remain humble when we’ve done what we’ve done? So I guess I had this coming. 

Plainview and Hillcrest were the ask. And the moment we got there I was defeated. This is not a 5 person job. This may not be a Raleigh Cleanup job. Because the trash was one thing but the despair is what I couldn’t handle. 

Have you seen the Walking Dead? It only aired for 20 years with 3 spinoffs. But that's what Plainview felt like. Lifeless bodies. With no purpose or ambition. Nowhere to go or be. To just find the next hit. It affected me more than I was prepared for. And the litter that just went on and on for days. That surrounded the people standing out there. Just living in it. Not bothered by it. 

To know me, is to know I was hurt I couldn’t leave the place spick and span. But even more is that I can’t help the people standing out there. Doing nothing. Disconnected from the world. Living in litter. 

But I know I can only do what I can do as it's hard enough to keep myself together, Elmo. But my responsibility is to my volunteers, our Workforce crew and our community. I can’t help everybody. I can’t empathize with everybody. I can do what I can do. The best that I can do it. 

I guess we all just have to find our niche and do what we can. Knowing I’m doing that makes me feel a little better. But don’t trip, I’m going to go back and clean up Plainview. When, IDK. How… together.  - Preston

Preston’s Plea

If you don’t know how the Raleigh trash system works, when your trash is collected by the big truck, before it goes to the landfill, it goes to a transfer station. The transfer station is a very large, open concrete structure where city and county trucks back in and push out all of there trash. It comes out like a tu… nevermind. But once dumped on the ground inside of this large structure, big machines with scoopers on the front, push it down a hole and it falls into a big rig. The big rig then hauls it to the landfill in Holly Springs. You can spot the trucks headed to the landfill if you know what to look for. (look for trash flying out the top 🫤)

But they have a good system of keeping things moving. Trucks dump your trash and the loader push in down the hole, and the big rig to hauls it off. Occasionally it will get backed up and some piles of trash will sit on the platform waiting for the next truck to be filled.

But what I witnessed on December 29th, post Christmas, was insane. Imagine 4, 2-story homes side by side, filled with trash. From the front door to the back. Ground level to attic. And these are big cribs I want you to imagine. So full that you could not pull in to dump, but instead did it from outside of the structure. And in addition to the houses, imagine 8-10, LARGE LONG RVs, out front of these homes. Also filled with trash. Just sitting because so much trash was produced that there aren’t enough drivers and big rigs to keep up with what the city and county trucks are bringing in.

Even in doing the work that we’ve done the last 3 years, this was eye opening. We produce to much waste. Like, WAY TOO MUCH WASTE. You may have heard the cliche, what gets thrown away doesnt go away. IT DOESN’T. Sometimes, its so much, that it doesn’t even just sit in the landfill. It instead sits in SE Raleigh in 9 trucks the size of RVs and a concrete structure the size of 4 large homes.

I readily acknowledge that the issues around our climate and environment are primarily caused by factors much larger than we can control. And that more sustainable alternatives should be driven by the corporations and not have to be sought out by you and I. But I think we might have some control over how much trash we produce so that we don’t have tons and tons just sitting on New Bern Avenue because the system can’t move fast enough to get it where it needs to be.

There are options to avoid plastic and other non recyclable items. There are steps to take to reduce our landfill impact. You can reuse EVERYTHING POSSIBLE, even if its not “Instagram pretty”. You can compost at home. I do it, trust me, its not that hard. But bigger than that, you can make the decision on what you’re buying and bringing into your home which at some point, will likely leave your home as waste.

I don’t have all the answers but I have some. And I will be better about sharing what I know whilst learning more so that I can share that to. And using whilst in more sentences. These 2 things I promise you.

Thanks for letting me get that off my chest,

Preston